Going Ape
by bl0tche5
Summary: Spoilers for episodes 1-3 and some early episode 4. Max finally decides to go ape with Warren, giving into her temptation to reward her handsome white knight in shining armor for striking Nathan down.


Going Ape

"I'm feeling pretty Alpha now."

When Warren had first spoken those words, they'd been at least semi-ironic. He was self-aware, self deprecating, a self-proclaimed "beta-nerd". To Max Caulfield though, these words were a declaration of war. A promise she hoped he would keep that one day, if not today than tomorrow, he would come for his payment. A knight does not serve his queen, after all, without the expectation of reward.

She wouldn't acknowledge it yet, of course. There was so much going on. It seemed every time Max felt the need to swoon as Warren defended her honour from Victoria's harpies online, Chloe would steal her attention away. For every sock account he lovingly crafted to like her posts, Chloe would manage to kill herself again and need Max to save her. For every favor Warren would do her, favors she knew he deserved payment for, Chloe would need help solving another puzzle. And worst of all, Kate Marsh's suicide had even taken away their one date night of the whole week.

As the school panicked, and Samuel dug his shovel under Kate's body like a spatula under a sticky pancake Max Caulfield knew that it was her slip up that had gotten Kate killed. Warren would not wait. His penis hungered for her musky wet jungle, and her jungle could not rest, it longed to be claimed by its king, its white knight in shining armor.

"Madmax you coming soon?"

"Hey Madmax cmon I need you to do your nerd shit"

"Max how long are you gonna be"

Max's phone buzzed away on her desk as Chloe fired text after text, but Max couldn't be bothered to get it. She knew it was important, that without her Chloe wouldn't never be able to find the dark room, but she needed a day off. Nathan wasn't going to be operating after today anyways, surely not. Not after Warren had beaten him down, struck the creep to the floor in defense of his fair maiden, halting only when she determined he'd had enough.

 _God that was hot._ Where was her knight now? She powered on her laptop, and found the folder. "Planet of the Apes - Complete Collection". One video file. HD. Hours long. She flinched as she heard a knock at the door, like a little girl hearing Santa's footsteps on the roof. She waited to make sure it was him.

"Max? You ready to go ape?"

She'd been born ready. She grabbed her polaroid camera from her desk and snapped a quick selfie, her last as a virgin she hoped. She opened the door with a banana betwixt her teeth and batted her eyelashes the way she'd seen pretty girls do in movies. She'd always hated it, but it was fun to play the damsel, just for once. He'd earned it.

Warren, slow though he was, understood the situation quite quickly. Once he saw that banana jammed in her jaw, his little grower began to expand. It took form, standing proud like a transformer, maybe just a little less shiny. His giant gorilla dick pained him, pinned under his cheap jeans.

"You, uh…" He shut the door, glancing at the laptop and hitting the spacebar to start the show. "Ready to go ape?"

"MNGH!" Max enthusiastically groaned through the banana, throwing herself onto her bed to be claimed by the monkey king. To hell with the Nathan, with Chloe, the dark room could wait a day. Max Caulfield wanted nothing more than to reward her handsome prince with the inexperienced monkey slot he'd longed for so long.

Warren clumsily, though still heroically fumbled with her jeans, commentating to himself on his progress as he went. He grabbed them by the ankle and yanked, nearly tugging her off the bed. Soon they agreed to have Max hold the bed frame while he tugged, and eventually by power of teamwork they'd removed her jeans. They repeated this process for each of her clothes, then switched positions so she could do the same for him.

Now they were ready. Warren held his penis up for support, winking smugly as he fished through Max's desk for a ruler and held it up for her to observe. She nodded her head, clapping her hands before giving him a reassuring thumbs up and bit hard on the banana. With that out of the way he took out the flimsy freebie condom he'd received in grade seven sexual education. Max's heart sank. A condom? What had she done wrong, to revoke her right to his hot milky monkey love? This date had just gone from an A+++ to a regular old A++. He strained as he opened the packet, and sat down on the bed to armor his little warrior, glancing up intermittently at the screen to commentate.

"You know, all the monkeys in this one are guys in masks. See? They hired midgets, I mean, little people to- oops." It was Max's lucky day. The condom had degraded during the three years it spent in his back pocket and fallen apart. "I guess that's that. Unless… Wanna do it bare?"

More clapping, more thumbs up. He nodded in understanding and stood up, then pulled the bed out so he could fuck her from behind while still watching the movie. He really did love this series. "Oh wait! I forgot, do I have your expressed consent?"

"MNGH MNGH!"

"No, uh, you gotta take the banana out. Just for this part."

Max took it out, bending over the bed and presenting herself. "Please, Warren Graham. Go Ape inside my vagina!" She put it back in her mouth, and waited for the cue to bite down.

"It's in!" Max bit down on the banana, her taste buds cleansed in the sour, sticky taste of peel. Warren planted his hands on her ass and began to thrust, pumping one, two, three, four times before letting fly his winged monkeys into her untamed rainforest, glazing her bushy, boyish pubes with his virgin spunk. Warren was feeling exceptionally alpha.

The two separated, lying bellies-down on the bed as the first film began. These had been the greatest seconds of both their lives, and as the sunlight filtered through her cheap curtains and glare claimed the monitor of her laptop Maxine came to realize that she never wanted this to end.

Maxine took the banana out of her mouth and set it on the sheets. "Wanna go again?"

"Already?" Poor Warren. Her knight had been exhausted of his supply, and needed time, cuddles and ape movies to recharge.

 _Bzzzzzt_! Madmax tf r u?

Max held down the power button on her phone for five seconds, forcing it to power down. She simply could not catch a break. She reclined on the bed with Warren, head tilted and lended her ear to four hours of Planet of the Apes trivia as he contextualized scene after scene.

That evening, Maxine arrived at the Price house. Poor Chloe had been working all on her own on her little investigation, but had made no attempt to string together the clues she kept on the corkboard. That was Max's job after all. Max entered her room, still lost in a daze of lust from her afternoon with Warren.

"Where the fuck were you?"

"I had something important to do."

"This is important too, Max. We need to get some proof so the police can lock that sick little prick up."

"Eh, who cares…" Max sat down on Chloe's bed, feeling lazy."

"Who cares? Um, Kate Marsh cared. Rachel probably cares. I care! You saw that photo!"

"Uh-huh. Toughen up, Captain Bluebeard." Maxine ignored Chloe's outburst and took the photo from her bag, admiring it. It was the last photo she'd taken as a virgin, before Warren's meaty lance broke her in. If only she could live that afternoon again.

Maxine held the photo with both hands, bit her lip in an anxious grin and focused as hard as she could.


End file.
